


Loving Him Was Shrektacular

by Luminite



Category: Shrek (2001)
Genre: Crack, Humour, Maybe - Freeform, Multi, Slight mentions of sex I guess, did i mention that, shrek puns, the first story to even have guts to write and post and its this piece of shit, wjat the hell am I even doing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2016-01-21
Packaged: 2018-05-15 06:01:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5774062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luminite/pseuds/Luminite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you first met Shrek, your life changed forever.</p><p>Aka 'what the fuck am I even doing'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loving Him Was Shrektacular

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Meme Squad](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Meme+Squad).



> When I wanted to post this I actually had no idea what I was doing, even now I have no idea what I'm doing. I haven't had a decent nights sleep since Friday and it's 00:20 GMT 
> 
> I just wanted Shrek puns man

When you first met Shrek, your life changed forever.

The moment you first saw the green, tall wall of 'Shrekliness', well, let's just you felt heat flood your nether regions in a not so comfortable way.

 

  
When you first got to know each other it was amazing.

 

  
Your first date, shrektacular.  
You and him. Eating onions by the fire side.

 

  
And when he took you to bed, magical.

-

  
Shrek slipped his tralala out and said "Better out than in I always say, except on special occasions."

You could feel yourself growing more aroused at those words. And when you were doing the do with you know who (not Voldemort obviously), the shrex you had was mind blowing; finishing with you getting an ogreload across your body of course.

 

But you knew it couldn't last.

 -

"Would it ever work out?" You whispered staring at the ogre, tears dripping slowly down your face.

"Maybe in another fairy tale." He replied, wiping away your tears. "Please don't ogrereact."

"OGREREACT!" You scream "DO YOU EXPECT ME NOT TO!"

Shrek shrinked back guiltily. "Baby they were nothing, just a brogre that's all."

"JUST!"

" _Please_ "

"NO I DRAW THE LINE HERE! Just - just get out."

"Babe-"

" _GET OUT OF MY SWAMP!_ "

He startled then started to back out of the room, while you collapsed in the corner sobbing.

He glanced back, "Shrek is love, Shrek is life." He said sadly moving through the door, leaving you with a broken heart, bleeding out on the floor.

**Author's Note:**

> I should go to bed


End file.
